THE bum’s hEre

rite…life’s taking a huge turning point 4 me. its like totally upside down, inside out (eew). like my feet on the air, my hair swaying on the ground (imagine penyapu)..oh yeah *remind me. i need 2 get a trim*

anyway.. 16 was supposed 2 be a damn goyang kaki year 4 me. step back. breath in.breath out. take a reality check hannah. whoops. hopes crashed. *PEEP* ur wrong. i mean, im wrong.

things happen when u least expect them 2. ppl change, n i guess ive been living in my fantasy world for 2 long a time. i didn’t want 2 face the fact when it came knocking on my door. yep, imma coward. sumbody come n greet it 4 me, it won’t go away.

being the young n hopeless person dat i am i hv huge plans ahead of me n high hopes 4 my future. (dun worry hon, nothing 2 do wif u. ours, confirm one..:) i feel like shit when i hurt others, but i get confused y others deliberately hurt me. tell me wat i did wrong, i mite be able 2 ‘mengubah my sikap’ but if u give me baseless answers wif no stubstance which, i mite add, won’t work..dun talk. (no substance, no talk. a debater’s wise words..yours truly aha!)

it sucks, all this ‘hoping- hoping’ thingy. i hate it when things cum 2 me by surprise. yes, i noe..who am i to demand wat i want in life n this is all my Qada’ n Qadar.. but im trying 2 cope wif it. still edging 2 the door slowly..but im a million miles away from turning its doorknob. patience. im a lil too old n i still need time 2 adapt myself 2 this uncalled- for situation.

never hv i gotten myself into a situation like this. i never knew dat ppl change, or so at least i dun think i’ll ever change into the another hannah *but who noes, even if i dun want 2, i mite not realise it* somebody take my hand n guide me (i said guide, dun drag me 2 the door). i STILL want things 2 go my way n somebody PLZ answer that door while i make tea for our wonderful uninvited guest! *grinds teeth, pour rats’ poison in the teapot*.

guess im still on the ‘ulu’ side (quote: my hon) n im just 16, so life’s supposed 2 be a big joke 4 me. im not used 2 this kinda stuff, so it’s still surprises me when it hits on 2 me once in a while. im in such a *^%$-ed up situation and especially when that particular thing or somebody means a whole lot to u, ‘FACT’ gives u a ‘SLAP!’

stuff happens. i noe. n i was gullible enough 2 think im on the lucky side. HAH! *knocks head* thank God 4 my other loved ones, im still surviving. or else u can find me six-feet underground the next time u come looking for hannah.

no choice. there it was. FACT. she brought along HOPE to cheer me up. i like HOPE better though, she’s nicer. they’re not so bad after all. i guess i’ll just hv 2 get used 2 their presence in my life, since the’ve scarred me n were nice enough 2 apologize.

so, coffee or tea? ……………TEA?!…*errr….*